小丑底下的面具

小丑
不断地扭曲自己以至娱乐大家
不计形象 不顾颜面
全场搏命演出 频频抛笑弹
可想而知
小丑
却压抑着内心的伤悲
继续搞笑演出
即使内心深处滴淌着血
眼泪的循环也得快速凝固下来
小丑
不需一般人的安慰
只需简单的笑容
在卸下面具以后
支影支离的数算自己仅有的快乐

5 more days in CROCS

yeah!! finally i can get rid of this work eventhough it was still have 5 days from now.. but anyways at least i am happy to think that the time i was set free and have fun with my friends again.. by that time i got my salary ler.. like that enjoy baru fun ma... kaka!! if not because i really poor i also won't go and work.. cause i have swo many things want to accomplish... but,then suan le la.. i not yet finish it as my resolution was in my to-do-list... such as cooking.. walao!!i didn't managed to cook for a proper dishes laa... however, housemate of mine lagi teruk than me for not even learning for a dishes..

as expected- can't rely on people too much for they do not have the respondsibility to do so..sigh!!

but, still one weeks time for me to learn cook after this hilarious tiring work...

and yet i was kind of sorry towards my manager whom was kind.. cause after knowing i was in pain with their CROCS shoes when working.. mind you CROCS workers need to wear CROCS shoes when working.. and also my leg sudah lemah after first sem in KK.. so, she offered me another new shoes and of cause i don't dare to accept it.. it is because i gonna leave for the job soon and it will be offended them i assumed..lol..

Do not accept people's goodness as you gonna repay it in future

now i am thinking of spending really quality time with my family.. i really love them cause they are my everything.. fOR Me family always come first..without them it cant be having me today.. i have my family eventhough i don't have papa..

learn to cherish everything that you have now..

Moved by a Daddy s calling.....

Of cause this is the Daddy whom is belongs to mine.. but, is customer that walk in to my outlet today.. He is cheerful and calling his newly baby daughter..

"baby....baby....you see this shoes so nice...Daddy sayang you..."

i was so envy this little baby girl that to have such good daddy and carry her with a strong hand even it is tired.. even it is so troublesome to bring a little children especialy for those little whom can't even walk..those pampers,bottle and their "susu"... i can see this daddy eyes were full of joy and being joyful to have his lovely daughter.. and the little baby was rather enjoying her father's love and caring.. i feel the atmosphere was warm.. His calling to his little baby was rather touched into my heart.. my eyes was rolling with tears..

it was yearning..

it 's been so long time didn't hear from Daddy 's calling.. it 's been long time never get big hug from Daddy...never get to eat Bah-Kut-Teh with him..

never get the chance to talk with him happily..

i miss him so badly..i thought i will be strong.. or because i have been gone throught alot of things that makes me more understand the love around me.. it keeps me warm and alive..i can truly feels the importance of showing your caring and love..

Feels wanna cry...

i was working.. but all those past was flashing me back..

something always bring me back to you...

maybe is because of coming Father 's day or i really don't get used of the working enviroment...

i really miss those olden days and those my friends and family

The hard feelings was attack me deeply till i can't breath.. eyes was rolling with tears..
Those past remembering me back that is it i am a good person or a failure person.. i wondered why.. i always do...when i was alone and quiet..

here i am and i stand so tall

just the way i supposed to be

i do hope i can do it better and never get to offense my friends cause i am just making joke..

i don't want fall another moment into your gravity

the one thing i still know that you still keeping me down..

now, i just hope that i can get rid of my damn boring work..

Father, i thank you!

Happy Father's day..
it 's been long time i never celebrate it since he is passed away...i just celebrated with my grandpa..Is it considered celebrating Fahter's Day??
i have used to it without papa 's existence.. so long till i almost forget when is the day he went away... Life is so fragile... but..really hope he knew i already fullfilled part of his wishes..now i trying another efforts to suceed it..

Father, i thanked you for all have you done..
for bringing me to this world even you are not rich..
for caring me when i seek for your strong shoulders even you are smelly after work..
for teaching me to be a good children even you are not well-educated
for you willing to spend on me even you are not enough money sometimes...
for you enduring our unperfect family that might lead alot of trouble...
for you has give your heart freely for me

and i trying my best efforts to praise for you is my Father..

i miss you always and forever

love,
your son
yang

Work = Experience

Just started my holiday work at CROCS.. Salary not bad.. but too bad is i just worked for two weeks only due to my new sem has begun.. sorry CROCS..
This is because i really needed money as i have to spend alot when new sem is coming.. i can't imagine how much i could spend off..
hopefully i can resist all those spending temptation ...lolxxx
Just for two weeks only..but more interestingly is those people around me was like...
'two weeks only leii..why you wanna work worr??no worthy leii?? those thingy...as expected laa.. but i was like ....
u can give me money spend or not??lolxxx...
Plus, nowadays economic are downturn and everyone was looking for their extra money... some of them even worst till lose their job that sustained their family expenses.. This has really frightened me and activated my protective sense to earn and save... if you have extra money, please do save or else invest in some low risk funds as to keep extra earnings....

SAVE....REDUCE SPENDING...

Yet.. working also lead me to not forget who am i and those working experience which is hard and awful one.. i should never let go of it... it is because to remember i should live in low-profile live.... i am MISKIN boy..kaka...

remember i am who i am ~ ~ poor one....

unexpected

i shouln't go there to take away my food
if not i wouldn't have the chance the meet him....
cause i was so shocked(really really shocked till my heart 's beat was rather moving fast) to saw him eating up by himself alone..

- He waving at me and saying hi with slightly smile on his face as to show some manners..-
then i was reply him with the same manner as well...
Well..i was thought of he are already forgo the past and maybe wanna be friendly as just for normal friends.. So, i decided to talk to him after Da pao-ing my food...
shit!!i was wrong!!i was talking to him and he don't really wanna listen to me... just want me to get off from him as soon as possible...even just a simple chi-chatting...

From that onwards, i knew that once broken it is hard to recover it as previously...

- Thanks for hurting me - i will remember till i R.I.P
the harsh words still hunting me..

感叹号！！

不知为何地对佷多事情抱着無所为的态度
或許单纯的心已伤害得体無完肤
沒有惊叹人性的丑陋 只是太多的感叹
感叹友情的弱不禁凤 抵挡不住心結的垂毀
感叹性恪的软弱 一而再地恶性偱环 重重复复
感叹生命的無常 总要体会悲欢離合的感受
是痲木还是实而不见
好喜欢这一段词
我对于人性早有預俻 还不算太黑
学习这一切有备而來的感叹号！！