2009

i have celebrated my new year eve with my friends at sunway piramid

it's as fun as i thought..seriously..

it 's good to see how actualy people celebrate new year eve and countdown

but it is not as fun as overseas..

but after the celebration i just reflect back myself that

- what i have done in the past few years?-

wasting a lot of time especialy in this current holidays..

i din't make a lot of things get done on the right time...

i was wasting my time and money

where i hang out with my friends almost evcrydays.

-shopping mamak msn everything -

i was aimless and less motivated..

- i do not know what to do -

or should learn how to cooparate with others

- but i do not know how to act fake seriously

i can't used to it -

i want to learn more things but i think i just can focus on my studies..

this sem result not so good - sigh-

anyways i will try to get back my study mood..kinda useless..

i hate this feelings so bad!

i think i almost forget who am i - seriously -

i should be more preserve~~

- what makes me who am i today -

i should not think back the unhappy things

- whenever i saw i will flash back those unhappy things-

the emo started to find me back

moodless~ ~

i wanna get rid of relying people

i don't really wanna put my rely on people

cause human are weak!! and so do i!!

maybe i just time to wash away those unhappy thingy..

*things can't goes back as we want

but we just can choose what is next for us..*

my resolution

- to be a better man truly -

- be grateful for what we have now -

- never regret for our action and thoughts.-

Where is my motivation??

i had become lazier and less motivation since i am enrolled in my uni life.. actualy i hate this situation cause it doesn't help and edifying me at all.. i wanna find the hardworking *ME* where it stopped at the moment when i was studying Form SIx.. lolzz

Friend of mine telling me that i am changed after came back from Sabah.. And it was so terrified me that i was more *CC* from the perspective of him..oh my GOSH!!! what makes he think like that??

maybe i should examine myself thoroughly..

*IT DOESN'T MEAN I WILL FOLLOW PEOPLE 'S VIEW BLINDLY*

anyways i was trying hard to find back myself - hardworking -

hahaha..

i think can't really resist that *ME* was changing..

- when you was alone in out there theorytically that you will be easily influence by other action

cause you will do it when the things become common -

but as a christian , should we??

ME - lets find back those motivation as to fight against the weaker *me*

- ME VS LESS MOTIVATED ME -

Can't live without you, Is it??

Coming back to my hometown.. Things never happen for what i have expected.. Thought it will be gathering and yes it do to certain ways..

But somehow what the gathering i am waiting for and expected it did not happen.. Just feel that maybe they are busy..Or i am also coming back hometown every two times in a year..arrggghhh!! i am still living in the conception of count into people 's action..i shouldn't cared so much and no more analysis either.... i think it will be declining as i grown.. something fash in my mind - then i no need coming back so often when holidays since no much people are welcoming me.. Even my brother take out the double-storey bed.. and didn't put it back when i am back..

*my existence is *lebih* wan..

Time is a help people to get used of something then become habits.. Everyone is changing including me but somehow i never show to my friend.. Previously,i thought we should carry ourself to our friend as before that we met each other.. but, i think i should accept the fact instead of denying that time isn't a habits..

time VS habits

i admit that we cant fight against the timing frame.. somehow life still goes on as there is no such things that can't live without anyone in this world.. Also,i found that people has their authority to change or either not.. That is why i am not blaming on them.. Just that feel losing something and the gap exist between the circle of human beings...

i lost the feelings on mankind..Now,i feels that human are just part of God 's creation.. so i don't think wanna care about them much.. Not to said be cruel but when comes to some arguement nor fight just use this concept..

it is more to got or not also not so influencing.. You will know if you get what i meant.. haha

*loved someone who treat you right*