变质

灰色天空 滴下悲伤的眼泪
雨水入侵 浇熄心中的火
过往浮现凌乱无序的画面
这一秒开始 形成无比的讽刺
朋友是一辈子的吗？还是我不懂人情世故
心中的疑问 油然而生
只因真心的付出却演变成愚昧的付出
而放弃自我保护的能力任凭由人摆布
受了一点伤害 唯有忍声吞气
或许看开了
有一天 那只不过是人生
关系都在变质了
当我从你眼神发现 我已是陌生人了
我想还是隋遇而安
不必太在意真心实意 这四个字

Se7en..

Seven has been my everything and center of my life. From seven, I had learned and gained as much as I can. I am really appreciate and thankful to have them. Because they had inspire to learn to move forward.. During that time, I was facing a lot of problems due to my family affairs till the extent I don’t really have the concentration to study. Can you concentrate when you family are arguing and no peace at all almost every day??.. Maybe you can do it..But, certainly not me.. I was never want to make friends with people sincerely as I was being betrayed and fooled by others… It is because of my foolishness.. However, I had met with seven during my most emo time.. They had inspired me to further study [I am the stupidest in our Group Seven]. They had teaches me to care about people sincerely.. And we had enjoy our self like talking.. We do like to talk and acting.. I still remember the 1st trip that we all going together was Cameron highlands. We playing the entire whole trip and kept on talking like no others until the extent people saying ’where is your gang arr”…
We had stayed overnight in the church and wake up in the morning just want to watched sunrise..But, we failed due to some of our sleepiness..We always doing church task together and always attend church services..We always sing the church hymns..We always stick together..And we had used to each other existence.. Of course, it comes some of arguments till almost broke up our ties. I am seriously upset about it and pray to God whenever I am frustrated about it. Because I do care about you all… I am really happy that seven has come back again..God bless us Seven forever..Hopefully we had become stronger and ever.
Seven = Irene Seah Pei Ing + Evon Seah Poh Eng + Nge Chee Yang + Lee Lian Wei + Lee Li Ping + Naomi Ching Huai En + Joseph Ching En hao
I LOVE YOU ALL…

My 2nd year 1st sem in UMS

Supposedly i should be arrived at Sabah on 5th of July. However, thanks to my little cousin brother whom willing to spread the chicken pox to me. i have to delayed my flight to 19 of July while i am gotta be late for the studying schedule. Maybe it is will of God that i got the chance to meet my uncle from Sweden whom i respect the most.. [yes and i really meant it] No other reason as he always kindly giving of his helpful hands and accompany me through this tremendously uncertainty life.
During this extended holidays, i am superb free and i just can stay at home like a bird at cage. Indeed, i have spent my quality free time with my family..lol.. and my mom seriously has showing her superior care to me as it needs a lot time and energy to take care of.. It is more worst when it comes to my age as it is hard to cure..What i am doing all this while as sleeping,eating,reading and watching TV....i am thankful to have my lovely family!!
Back to my uni life after recovering, i am totally lost and don't know where is my classes is.. but, thank god that my course mate has helped me registered all the lecturer and tutorial class....really thanks to them and i always get into trouble when i have fly back to Sabah..[is it my fate???]...lol...But, i was totally frusfrated with my core subject which is Basic Econometrics. This subject totally challenge my mathematical skills[oh my god!i don't even taken add-maths when spm]..i think i really have to study deeply..However, my lecturer was in the most low standard teaching method which is reading the slide and so called explaining the slide..he don't even showing us the calculation skills during lecturer.. sigh~~[this is further statistics]..hopefully i can catch up my study.
i already switch out from my uni hostel.. it's kind of relieve.. because i can online and enjoy lot more freedom such fridge, washer, double room and convenient where got giant here. i heard that our hostel water supply was contain overload clorin..[no wonder i felt sick when i was in the tmes of i 1st year].. Anyways my house was full with 9 guys including me.. Just knowing them since 2nd sem and staying together i not yet know how it is.. Hopefully everything was fine although i was totally i dislike some sort of their behaviors.. But, it is not offended me enough untill i am mad.. This is life and gotta learn evrything..

My New Hair Colour- Part 2

after finding my new hair colour being exposed to almost everyone, One of my uncle saw it and just asked me to re-dye again my hair with a fierce and terribly firm voice... At last, i was change my hair colour immediately.. To note that, this uncle was the person i respect the most..so i just obey his instruction without any argument nor fight.. Cause i dislike argument and judgement as i am not qualify to do so.. It is not a action which scare of something but is comes from respect.. When people giving you advice with approaching type, you can humbly obey it and not make any childish fights.. Hello!come on!! people are going through a lot of things in their life.. certainly have their wisdom ahead.. Always remember we must be humble and obey elderly opinion when we are young...

Ended up, i re-dye into dark brown colour and i promise i would not dye into so yellowish/gold and any other striking colour..lol...just feel my hair colour like fake hair as it changed dramatically...

Being Betray..

Just saw some picture and finally found that S** already get into new people..
Maybe S** found suitable person for her.. i just feels that i am a stupiest person in this world..even the beggar wanna laugh on me.. how stupid am i?? people already forget your existence.. The past won't coming back as previous..Sometimes i am naive to believe TRUE LOVE.. what is TRUE LOVE?? i don't know and i also don't want know lerr... it is too hard feelings for me... but, i am happy that i didn't cry out even i saw unwanted things happened in front of me.. My heart will not sustain YOU as in terms of existence..I have make the resolution that i don't wanna believe in LOVE and HUMAN beings anymore.. i know some of them are good but they will change as well... never too believe cause you will know that people around will change and betray you... i am certainly a negative thinking person but when you comes to my situation will know how naive am i when treating people... From the day you said that you wanna be friends i already knew that we won't be together.. never mind.. its okay!i still can take it and i will still hope that you will be fine eventhough we are strangers...

i just need time to recover myself and learn to be strong when comes to betrayer..

My New Hair Cut and Colour...

Today it is about 7:15pm only a City car drive and arrived at my ah ma house while i was told to be waiting at 6pm...sigh~ ~ this is the fate to be waiting when you have to sitting people's car.. and of course i already used to it..[this is not complaining the driver as it is got emergency plus after working]...soon, we get into the hair saloon which being introduced by the driver~~it is located in Bayu Tinggi in somewhere klang... The owner of this saloon are basically hairstylist and was aged of 20.. he is just one year smaller than me.. i was terribly amazed and quite upset that i am still studying..lol... People is making BIG money.. while i am still a poor student whom did not reach any great achievement so far...actually i was quite interested in hair cut and i always do something different to my mummy's hair pattern during CNY celebration.. of course it is some sort of simple designation of hairstyle~ ~maybe i will find some time and money to learn it..Heard from hairstylist that need to pay up to rm12000 for haircut' s course.. it is ridiculously expensive...i need to work and save it up to the sufficient amounts...lol..

ended up my driver have some simple haircut and i was doing haircut and dye my hair after that.. actually i want green colors and ended up it is sort of green mix with blonde..it is because of lacking colors mixture to be done..so, i have to wait and see the colors will changed into green colors that i want.. it is too striking for me now...please comment how was my new hair colors...lol...

21st Birthday Celebration-12/07/09

Today 12/07/09, i have celebrated with few of my friends and family... Got 3 part of celebration of my 21st birthday.. Actualy, i don't really care about my 21st birthday.. However, my friends and family seems like more concern about its celebration and wanna celebrate it.. They said i am acting.. i can said i am NOT..lol
Part1
few friends of mine wanna have some sort of gathering at Station one... and i have risk myself to borrow grandpa's car in order to reach there.. [ he is really Grand and Fierce in some sort of personality] try to imagine the thunder sounds...lol..back to our story.. they planned wanna giving me surprise by spend me a secret recipe's cake.. but, i already knew before..how come i know??

en: when almost reach klang, must give me a call ya!!
me: okok....[must be preparing something ahead..]

after they presenting me the cake, asking whether i know or not.. my replied was 'yes' and their face was like dissapointed and laugh out loud..but,i do appreciate it..thanks and hug!
Part2
My form six friends..actualy did celebrated with them as they giving me surprise by conducting birthday bash earlier..and it seems not satifying them..

they: should celebrate again with the actual date arr.
me: anything will do laa...

and again we celebrated at GreenBox at 12am.. of course my expenses there was free due to i am the Birthday Boy..lol... GreenBox giving me free cake and champaine plus bill are F.O.C.. but, pity my friends who accompanied me as their pocket gonna bleeding as they spending... special thanks to Khang Fatt, Mei Yen and Siew Kuan..our Ktv were quite fun and everyone of us seems like enjoying themselves..
Part3
With my big family... eventualy this gathering was prepared for my Unlce Kang family as they flee from Sweden to Malaysia for holidays.. and also thanks to my chicken pox that i was able to meet them in coincidence... Anyways, in so coincidence my birthday was also at the same day.. So, auntie of mine wanna celebrate with me due it is 21st.. For them is a big day i assumed.. i have celebrated my birthday with my family since i was aged of six..hahaha..This time is really got many people there with me.. i was kind of embarassing at the moment.. The most surprising that was my brother givng me a present and i was happy and touched.. Cause he never giving me a present[i mean when my birthday time and he do give me when normal days] ...hahaha..at last he buy me a long-sleeve shirt from Esprit..and another ang-pao from my 2nd unlce..Thanks alot!!i do like it very much!
From this celebration, i am very very happy to celebrate with them especially with my family.. its too long and with the whole relatives and family...and never forget those whom wished me HAPPY BIRTHDAY.. i will never forget you guys kindness...21 years old ler.. i should be more mature in certain levels..and of course i will still keeping my sense of humors.. thats what we lead our life as there are too many things we can cry for.. but certainly there are even more things we can laugh for..

Happy birthday to me!

Recent happenings....

eventualy i was at Sabah right now due to my new sem were started.. but, thanks to my chicken pox that drag me back to Klang.. what can i describe my feelings when i get to know i got chicken pox...beside, i have complicated feelings..
1-i can escape my classes and stay in my lovely home.. enjoy my mom take good care of me...and still have fun if my chicken pox cure at the right time...

2- my study schedule was on the mess and i need to catch up my study.. and also my FACE...i was terribly shock and sad to see my ugly face.. need to take good care of it...

sorry for my friends in Sabah cause i have to delay my flight and might miss up some good happenings... and i am not PONTENG class..ishh...

i just finished my work at crocs and i was afraid that crocs wont pay at first place due to i FFk them without give them any early notice..which is one day before leaving notice..i am sorry about as i am wake up late for my last two days work..so decide to leave by making a call even it is in sudden manner..However, they still pay me for quite a high salary for 7 days work...cause they counted me as full time worker..blekkk....

secondly, it was my surpurise given by my friends during a Form six gatherings..i was kind of surprise as they give me a birthday cakes which the taste i am not so like it..and the TANYA Chua original collection CDs..i was excited about it...i like it so much..don't bored the creamy cake with a doremon decoration...haha..and some guys were push me into the cake till the doremon decoration spoilt..ish..how dare they do it to me?? but it was fun and was my 21st birthday bash...anyways thanks to them... Beside, seven of mine has also giving their present.. as i know it was brought by a person..so it is not counted as seven's idea i assumed....the present as the picuture shown.. feel free to leave your comment...

黑夜里的思念

凝望着冷冷的天空
夕阳 已随着夜幕的降临
化作属于黑夜的颜色
此刻 思念的心装满的都是你
心情独自孤单沏泣
只剩 只影怀着苦涩的笑
泪水残留着过去全部的都是你
化作回忆逝去
此时 黑暗角落一个人哭泣着
任性的泪水 若能洗净双眼
或许 哭能模糊我视线
寂寞 少了你的时候回忆的都是你
化作思念牵伴着
此时你不在的日子里
一个人 一步步
思念 总是让我受苦脱不了身
背负着沉重的伤心
我只剩下呼吸

怪珈

一堆怪裡怪气的人
说些怪裡怪气的話
几乎没有一个角色是正常的
都游走在瘋狂的边缘
夸张怪异行俓背后都隠藏着自己的故事
华丽的扮相來掩饰心中的创伤
以兇暴的言行來掩饰不幸的童年和心中的柔情
怪珈
都是我们的分身
一种借以掩饰真实的面向